Love

A small conference room in a Moscow hotel. About fifty people. An industry-wide network marketing conference, speakers taking turns one after another.

Then I'm up. My topic: "The System of Manipulation in MLM."

I'm talking, drawing steps and arrows on the board. I get to the very top of the diagram. And it just slips out:

"MLM is a path of love."

And silence. No reaction from the room. None at all.

And I'm standing there thinking: man, what did I just blurt out?

This was about two or three years before Bali. I'd been invited to speak at an open industry conference that brought together people from all kinds of different companies.

I picked an unusual topic. By then, Natasha and I had already recorded a lesson on the system of manipulation for our course and run it together. I understood exactly how the system worked. And I figured people would find it interesting.

I already told you about the four steps of manipulation in Chapter 17. Unconscious manipulation, conscious manipulation, conscious non-manipulation. And the fourth, the top one: unconscious non-manipulation. When a person isn't manipulating and doesn't even notice it, because they simply don't need to anymore.

Well, this fourth step lives at the level of Talent.

Remember the system of levels Natasha showed me? There are eight in total.

The first four are the levels of consumption. Despair, Searching for Meaning, Pleasure, Awareness. Here, a person takes. Looks for what's useful to them. Even with the best of intentions, they're thinking about themselves first.

The next four are the levels of love. Or the levels of creation. Talent, then Genius, Sage, Creator. Here, a person gives.

Talent is the first step into love.

That's exactly what I'd drawn on the board that day. And the logic took me the rest of the way on its own. In MLM, we're moving toward the level of Talent so we can stop manipulating people. And Talent is already love. Which means our path in network marketing is a path toward love. A path where manipulation stops.

And that's how it slipped out: MLM is a path of love.

I understood later why the room went quiet.

For network marketing, this is almost a forbidden topic. The industry is full of manipulation. Companies manipulate. Leaders manipulate. Comp plans manipulate. Promotions, "only until the end of the month," stage stories about someone borrowing money to buy a qualification.

All of it is manipulating people. And none of it is about love.

And there I was, up on stage, saying our path is love. It came out sounding like I was talking about something cosmic. Something otherworldly that has nothing to do with network marketing at all.

Now let me be honest. Up on that stage, I talked about manipulation as if I'd been above it myself for ages.

And not that long before that, I'd been a steamroller.

At Morinda, I pitched noni juice to absolutely everyone. All the time, everywhere, whether it fit the conversation or not. I had zero self-control. No matter what the conversation was about, I'd steer it right back to noni juice.

Then came one of Marik's trainings. Natasha and I were already living together by then. Lunch, we're sitting at the same table, eating. And there I go again: noni juice, noni juice.

At Marik's training, everyone gave each other feedback. We were all training junkies there. And my fellow trainees let me have it:

"Enough already with your noni juice! How much more of it? You've talked our ears off."

It cut straight through me. I felt ashamed. It hurt.

But they didn't say it out of spite. They said it with real feeling. Like people who actually cared.

And it became a defining moment in my life. There's me before that lunch, and me after it.

In one second, I stopped shoving noni juice down people's throats. One piece of feedback, and the whole thing just stopped.

Something else lined up at the exact same time: I'd just heard about the system of manipulation from Natasha. And suddenly I saw myself in it. A steamroller flattening people — that's unconscious manipulation in its purest form.

Here's the funniest part. I'd been teaching people to do exactly the opposite for a long time.

Start with open-ended questions. Uncover the problem, the need. And only once the need is visible, offer a solution. And ask it this way: "If you'd like, I can tell you more."

I taught it. And then didn't follow my own instructions.

Recently, a guy named Denis suggested a phrase that works well to open any conversation:

"How can I be of help to you?"

I really love it. It shuts off the word vomit right away. You're not pushing anymore. Let the person ask what you can offer. And you answer their questions and respond to what they actually need.

I'm still switching myself over to this mode. I used to pitch everyone, no matter who. Now I listen. And I don't pitch everybody.

They were the ones who gave me the feedback at that table.

I was the one who stopped shoving it down people's throats.

I could have gotten offended. I could have decided my fellow trainees didn't understand the first thing about business. I could have kept flattening people. Nobody would have stopped me.

Love for people isn't a skill, and it isn't a sales technique. It's a choice. And you're the one making it, every single time.

At the end of the last chapter, I asked: what held forty-seven leaders together for years?

Definitely not the comp plan. The comp plan was exactly what had driven them out of their previous company — the company changed it, and people left. Not promotions. And not my juice.

Here's how I'd put it now: without love, nothing happens in this life. Whether you're talking to someone on Zoom or in person — if there's no love, nothing happens. No business gets built.

And back in Chapter 15, I left a question open. Where does state actually come from?

Here's how I see it now. It all lines up into a single chain:

Love → state → personal growth → growth system → check.

State is born out of love. State drives personal growth. Growth organizes itself into a system. And the check is simply what follows from everything above it.

Remember I told you the cut is who you've become, and state is the light passing through you right now? A diamond doesn't sparkle in the dark.

Well, love is exactly the source of that light.

Look how far from this I started out.

In Chapter 4, I was a strict leader. People were afraid of me. Then came the steamroller with the noni juice. Then, in Bali, arrows that drowned in Natasha's love. That's where I first felt that you don't have to deflect anger — you can dissolve it.

And in that same ocean, when I was drowning, I asked for forgiveness. Out of fear. Thirteen years later, I was crying with gratitude. Out of love.

My whole path in this book is a path from fear to love. I just didn't know what to call it for a long time.

That sentence didn't land with anyone at that conference. Years went by. And the world changed a lot.

These days, people are talking more and more about God, about love, about relationships between people.

In our big, close-knit team of partners, there's a Viktor. A different Viktor — not the one who drew circles for me back in Chapter 3. This Viktor sets an example of spiritual growth and lives his values openly. And he's got a saying of his own, one he came up with himself:

"I hand out the Wi-Fi of love."

He doesn't call it "MLM is a path of love." But that's exactly what he's doing.

Someone even suggested a new way to spell out MLM. Not multi-level marketing — multi-love marketing.

And only now do I truly understand what I said back then.

God is love. Which means moving toward God, knowing God, all spiritual growth — it's a path toward love. As you develop your personal and spiritual qualities, you're walking that path. Whether you want to or not.

And this isn't just about MLM. Any business is a path of love. Loving your customers. Helping people. Solving their problems, meeting their needs.

Network marketing is no exception.

You just can't get far anymore with the old methods, with manipulation alone. The world has changed dramatically. And everything works differently now.

What slipped out on that stage was something I didn't actually grow into myself until years later. Like the answer had been handed to me in advance, and I've had the rest of my life to make sense of it.

Even now, writing this, I get goosebumps.

Here's what I understood: MLM is a path of love. Manipulation takes, love gives. No business gets built without love. State is born out of love, and everything else grows out of state — the check included.

What does this mean for your business?

Check yourself honestly: are you a steamroller? Do you bring up your product whether it fits the conversation or not?

Start the conversation with a question, not a pitch. "How can I be of help to you?" And listen. Really listen.

Offer something only once you've seen a real need. And ask permission: "If you'd like, I can tell you more."

If someone gives you feedback that stings, don't rush to get offended. It might be the most valuable gift you get all year. Mine came to me over lunch.

If you're a leader, look at what you're using to hold your team together. Promotions, deadlines, the fear of missing a cutoff? That works only as long as you're pushing. Love holds, even when you're not watching.

And remember: you don't arrive at love once and for all. It's a path. I'm still on it.

Today I say it from the stage: "MLM is a path of love." But that path itself started long before that conference. With a few sheets of paper I once glued together and pinned to the bedroom curtains.

More on that in the next chapter.